the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
