if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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