No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
