shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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