question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
