I could have mohawked her pubes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
