I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Vodka?
Forever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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