Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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