how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he thought i was a dude.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
where are my eyebrows?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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