Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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