All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
