I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
