I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
