Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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