you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
