Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
