thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
