i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
