He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
