Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
