can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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