Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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