M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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