Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
