Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
