Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
