whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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