they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just cropdusted the office
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
