porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
