everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
