At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize