Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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