When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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