She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
