STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
