I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
