so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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