Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
