so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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