heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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