Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
