I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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