Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
