I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
