I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
