fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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