This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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