If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
