I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
