No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
