no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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