I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
