She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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