Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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