Sry I called you an 8
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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