Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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