you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need a beard to bite.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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