He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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