i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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