It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I currently don't understand fingers.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
