My Higher Power is John Stamos
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize