i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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