Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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