So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
