He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
