Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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