the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
