Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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