you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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